Monday, October 31, 2005

What leadership requires

I think exams signify my start of another journey. So i began my day today reading the bible.. And what amazes me is tt God always has a word for me. I needed to know where i should go, wat i should do. I always thought, i am not tt "big" a person, that God might just pass me by. But i am wrong. I am going to read about Samuel, how he held leadership roles, 3 of them.. leading worship, a prophet and a priest. One sentence in the introduction hit me really hard.. "King David succeeded because God chose him for the job, and because David persistently turned to God for his direction. The best leadership ultimately, belongs to God.

Will do that!

Needs discipline, but with God's strength, I will.

Love,
Me...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Especially for Qin Ying!

Wahhaha! Its been a long time since i last wrote.. this time round, is for dearest Qin ying! So that she can see that my blog is updated! Hee... Just finished case presentation for product and brand! Phew.. wat a relief, but now must rush 3M concepts and service marketing, than got test fro product.. Torture camp!

Today i went Ikea! So pretty all the stuff there, having the yacht event on 1st Nov, excited yet i know lots of work to be done, still have not thought of wat kind of music to put up there. Must go get Kenny G's songs...!

So excited to post the pictures up here when its done!!!!

Cant believe i got to spend one whole day in school tomolo! Sigh.. how tiring can it get!

Oops.... need to go do concepts already if not QIN YING will scold me! wah haha! give me 0 for peer evaluation!

Hee!!!!

Love,
Me

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

This journey of life

I think life sometimes take u to places that you have never been before. Sometimes we feel lost and do not know what to make out of ourselves and out of all the things that we are doing.

But i believe in life. I believe tt if i firmly believe in something, a miracle will happen. Amen!

Monday, May 09, 2005

My Revelation for today

David was a weak and inwardly torn man. He knew he was one step away from sin. He committed a grievous murder in order to commit grievous adultery. Yet David did not allow his weakness to destroy his relationship with God. He did not hide from God, but ran right to Him in repentance (Ps. 51). Astonishingly, God was pleased with him and called him a "man after God's own heart," because he understood the heart of God - that God was for him, even in his weakness and sin. God can deal with our sin, but not with the pretense we often put up, like Ananias and Saphira in Acts 5.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

To travel in His name...

Prophecy from Prophet David:

"Do you like to travel? Do you like to travel? Cos i see you travelling, i see you travelling on a train. and i see you a back pack on the back, cos you are taking the gospel to different places, I see you with a strong sword in your hand. And i see u being sent out, u love to travel and u are going to take the gospel where u go, and u will take it in power. You will be sent, said the Lord."

I think i was in shock after prayer meeting, could not seem to want to talk much or say much. And i felt so strongly jus now, that a spirit was looming over me, and i rebuked it in Jesus name, and started singing, I started singing to Jesus and wanted peace to come over me..

The whole of today was very jittery and on the edge.. afraid and weird feelings in the heart, but it went away and i guess that i had a very heavy heart.. Was about to msg aunty gwen when my handphone went dead on me, i felt so strongly that something was trying to stop me, and really understood what Apostle meant by warfare.. Finally understood what it is like to want to serve the Lord and yet have so many things stopping me.. The teaching today was do not waiver, and i realised that i have waivered so much before. And now its the time to do something about it!

Amen!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

In the Beginning...

In the Beginning, God created..

Fairhavens seek to surround you with all that God so beautifully created, the serenity of the sun setting, the soft gentle whisper of the sea breeze, the rich and abundant pastures, the twinkling stars out in the cool night. All that FR seeks, is to enchant you with God's most beautiful creation, you.. The perfect combination of God's creations in one, the ambience and lastly you and your partner.. Romantically in love...


Fairhavens Romance..

Was so inspired by what my notes in the student Bible mentioned:

"People say they can see God reflected in stars, forests, sunsets. What about people? HOw can you see God's artistry in them?"

And i realized that yes... maybe that is what God wants FR to do...

GOd may we seek to only fulfill your will and noone elses..

Amen

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Day 40: Living with Purpose

A sense of accomplishment after finishing this book, but somehow i feel that God has somthing more for us as we finish this.. Looking forward to the retreat tomolo.. somehow excited to let God reveal HIs word.. excited to discuss with them how things are to be...

To write a statement, i remember when i read this book, i did not feel the urge to write the statement, but today, i feel that its time i need to re-org my life.

40 days, have i matured..

I realised tt i have grown and learnt to try my best to keep placing Jesus in the center of my life.. Yesterday, i was tempted to be angry... bt i asked myself wat would Jesus have done... recently the song kep being stuck in my mind.. Jesus.. i kept repeating the song... and seeking him for strength...

40 days, seems long and yet suddenly feel as though i willl miss not reading this book.. it seems that there is a sense of attachment i have... to want to soak in the Lord.. but somehow... perhaps now.. its the time to grow..

Amen

Day 39: Balancing your life

The Four Activities:

Sharing with a small group, Yup doing it with kuan and Veron, to internalize oursselves. I realise that everyone has faults, and to really become Christlike in character, we need to be accountable for one another, to hoestly tell each other how we feel abt their character.

Spiritual Check Up: Hmmm... think i need to find out more about how to do spiritual check up... not sure about this..

Writing in a journal: Haha thats what i am doing now, but i think i also want to write in a journal...

Pass on what i know about others: I really wan to internalise all that i learnt. Seems difficult...

AMen

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Day 38: Becoming a World Class Christian

To be a World Class Christian....

Have been to 3 mission trips during Girls' Brigade. Taught english, brought gifts, presented items, made friends, sang songs, had fun, fellowshipped. But i realised none of the above actually came to a point in time, wherby i really went there with a mission. I went there filled with enthusiasm on having fun, with the feeling of a worldly christian.

Last year i wanted to go again... But it was postponed to this year. I want to go.. and this time to go there prepared.. prepared to spread His word... and not to go there.. to play and have fun... To God be the glory...

I must earn money and build up Fairhavens Romance. I felt stuck... had school and cant seem to be able to manage my time well. But i believe that with God's help, i can. God give me the strength!

Amen.

Day 37: Sharing your life message

My life message:

Testimony: I remember beginning a relationship with Jesus when i was in Primary school, i was still very young then, and all i knew about Christianity is that Jesus died for us on the cross and if we dun believe him, we will definitely go to hell.. haha imagine me as a young girl.. i was shocked and afraid so i accepted the Lord. But i never had any encounter with Him, never understood what it meant by being a Christian. Til one year back, when my best friend, sister and boyfriend convinced me that maybe its time i went back to God.. Then my relationship really started... I was very skeptical. People believe in religions so as they can have hope in life. Maybe there is no such a thing as God.. i use to think.. and i did not understand why people had so much feelings about Jesus...

Slowly through many incidents, i understood and felt the reason why. I saw how miraculous God is.. how he managed to save jerome and mercy from the serious accident, how he managed to let us pull through financial difficulties.. My relationship with him.. had jus begun.. Jesus was jus starting a mission in my life..

My life lessons: I was spolit, lazy, proud, arrogant, miss know it all... But GOd brought me down to humility. I remembered saying once that i hate sales, and will nevere do sales. But He led me to astral mag... forced me to swallow my pride and put down my laziness to go for appts, to convionce people that they need the product. To learn with a humble heart. I thought i knew it all... but then... God took tt away.. and forced me to a circumstance whereby i had to lean on others for support, for money... He had to take away my pillar of support for finance... my job, my manager position and brought me back to square one again.

I never learnt my lesson, to study properly and He gave it back to me again. He made me concentrate, make new friends.

I had a bad temper, He knew.. and He gave me the serenity to change these. He made me calm down my temper, and let me understand that beign angry will only bring back an angry tone and voice. and things will jus get worse...

My Godly passions: To sing for Christ. For be able to touch hearts, and let the HOly spirit touch them and come to Jesus.. if it is God's will... i will use my voice for Jesus.

The Good news: I dun think i have ever tried evangelising before... so the first time i tried was on Easter Sunday, i told myself that i will try to ask my Thai friend, nalin to come to church with me.. I did not know if she qould come.. but i told GOd, that God, i will do what there needs to be done, please help me. And she came! t is not important whether or not she believed or she accpeted the Lord.. What was most important was that i could add a plus to her journey in life... and someday.. when the pluses add up and she finally accepts Jesus into her life... i was one of those pluses...

He has taught me so many things, without HIm, i will not have curbed my temper today. Without Jesus's help. i would not have the patience to accomplish anything...

Who does God want me to share it with?
I cant seem to think of any one now.. as God leads i guess...

Amen

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Day 36: Made for a mission

What keeps me from sharing the Good news?

Perhaps rejection, and the fear of the unknown... when i am not confident of something, then u woll not share.. then what am i not confident about? I guess i remeber when i first joined Astral Mag, i remembered that i did not dare share with my friends about AM, cos i was not confident, and there were lots of faults that i found in the company...

But after i became more confident, or rather, after i psyched myself up for it, i really went full swing, putting my heart and soul into the whole thing, but i am afraid... afraid that again i will go full swing into bringing ppl to Christ, and then find out tt i made a mistake... But i fully know that God is with me and He understands my fear..

I must know that AM is different from God... no matter wat church they go to.. as long as we put a plus sign on their journey to becoming children of God...

Also i do not know much about the bible to share with others to begin with.. thats why i made a resolution to finish the bible in a year after i finish PDl....

Lord, there are still some things that i do not understand.. please guide me...

Amen
17th Months Anniversary Posted by Hello

Monday, April 11, 2005

Day 35: God's power in ur weakness

Everyday, God's message is so apt... Jerome was jus telling me, that it is my self esteem that is preventing me from singing to my hearts content... it is making me insecure, not confident... and out of my greatest strength is my greatest weakness...

And i agree tt i am the kind of person who does not want to reveal my weakness... more of a act confident person.... and usually only want to portray a happy image, rid of problems that type... But now i understand and agree to the message that i must be a person who influences rather than impress..

Again, i was seeking for confirmation about my ministry, and Apostle out of nowhere, told me to lead the song... and perhaps jus to see how i could handle... but that led me to realise my limitations,.. and for me to want to improve on myself... and veron said she felt happy worshipping the Lord thr seeing me being happy worshipping the Lord... i was a little surprised.. didnt see it coming, so Lord, is this wat u want me to know???

Had a really big revelation tonight about Jerome and my past... finally i feel that the air has been cleared... i did not avoid the topic God forced me there head on... He knows tt if this barrier is not rid of.. it will be a permanent scar...

And we finally could really sit down and understand each other... i should have done htis earlier,.. my rashness and pride took over every other time.. but today was God's Kairo... and he made us understand...

Today at service, it was also Kairos time, and when he prayed for me, he said... 'its ur destiny to be a jewel..' i had kairos time, and the time was there jus right for me to receive my word...

Amen Lord

Sunday, April 10, 2005

this is us at Sentosa Posted by Hello

Day 34: Thinking like a servant

Veronica was telling me today that we are doing PDL a little wrongly.. and that we should talk about whether or not we agree to it and everything...

Somehow, i have a doubting feeling in me regarding church and a lot of other things.. Jesus is real... but Apostle once told me that we know when we know that we know.. and some things i jus cant seem to know... and no matter how much i seem to tell myself that i know.. i jus cannot seem to know... thinking like a servant??? i somehow still cannot comprehend to that... and whether or not i accept it its another issue...

I believe that we should serve, not to think less of ourselves but to think of ourselves less... however, i think the phrase seems to be so hard on... its like telling us that we must be servants.... but i dun think we should serve blindly..

we need to serve with a discerning heart...

I am usually more concerned about being served.. hmm... now i am understand that i need to serve and not jus wait upon to be served...

Jerome is always the serving one.. i must make an effort to play a part...

Amen...

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Day 33: How real servants act

To lead and serve, serve with joy, to be the leader with the heart and mind like the one who serves, to learn to lead an serve with help from God above, to be the star that shines bright in the sky..

I learnt tis song in GB, and at that time, i remember the theme being "Servant leader"

I learnt how to hand sign the song,

"Make me a servant, HUmble and Meek
Lord let me lift up those who are weak,
And may the prayer of my heart always be...

Make me a servant.. Make me a servant
Make me a servant today..."

I still roughly remember how it is being done... Been trained since we were WOs to be a servant leader, to lead by example and to have a serving heart..

Its always very hard to do.. especially during MM, setting up and clearing up, sometimes, i will want to be lazy, but in me, i guess, Miss Gan gave us a good teaching, to be responsible.. About my life review retreat... i realized tt God put me in GB for a good enough reason, for me to grow maturely and to learn many things that i wld not have learnt else where...learnt to do volunteer service for old folks home, to learn how to present myself in front of many people...

For this life review retreat, i think, in my life, one thing is that i must control my temper. and must really change my heart... to let God perform his surgery on me...

Also i realised that God gave me one talent.. my memory.. God gave me a good memory for me to use it for his glory.. for what yet i do not know.. God gave me a very good catch of tunes.. i only need to listen to it once, and i will be able to roughly catch the tune.. Hee... understand now why i am a praise singer... to use my talent for catching onto songs.. God is amazing.. as this weekend moves on... i know more and can see more of what i can and cannot do...

Today spent some time with dede and thia and brought them to house church, very happy that they went with me, and i pray that God plwase touch their hearts, and let them come more with me to church and cell grp..... and i realised that God's gift for me, is i am a very situation oriented person, i see things that need to be done i take the initiative..

Both of them saaw something in Jerome, tt i took for granted. He is a very patient and understanding person. Today i finally cleared the air.. and know tt God wants to see if i take this love for granted.. Cos why then should he give someone for me to love, if i take it for granted...

They told me that i should use much less harsher words on him, and i understand now where they are coming from...

God show me more of what u want me to learn in these two days Lord..

Amen

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Day 32: Using what God gave you

To have a life retreat over the weekend, for God has a plan for me in everything we do..

Today is thursday and as He planned, tomorrow will be the start of the weekend, a life review.. I really am looking forward to it but yet a little weary.. To look back at my life's events and understand the lesson that God has planned for me..


I started a little today, i looked back at how me and jerome came together, and i realised how he placed so much effort for me, through him i understood the real meaning of love.. And through him i saw how much sacrifices one can make for the sake of love. . I remembered how he jus wanted to be there for me and never expected anything more..


Honestly, he is not the type the guy that i ever wanted in my life, whether or not, God plans for us to be together forever, i know that God made a plan for me. I hated tz to the core, it still hurts to know, but without him, i would not have been with jerome now.. My hurt was for me to learn that love does not have to be with one that is seemingly ideal.. love does not have to sound sweet and look handsome, for if one truly has a good heart, it will shine...


I guess i have to face the fact that i did learn a lot from astral mag, this name i have been avoiding, and hoping that noone asks me anything about it.. like wat veron usse to say, afraid of letting the past catch up with me..


But God planned it, and perhaps for me to learn humility there, for me to understand the dynamics of leadership and the fundamentals of recognizing faults in an organization..


Accessing my gifts and abilities, i have once asked madelene, what she think is my ability.. i thinki remember she said, that i am a people person??


I think i should take this opportunity to really think through waht kind of person i am..


Getting feedback from people who knows me best..


Jerome, my mummy, my sister, mercy, ade, Cyn, Veron, madelene, .... who else??


What am i doing that i will lose track of time? Singing... when i am chattin, when i am focusing on my biz? Goodness, i really think that i do not really know myself very well... i will use this weekend to focus on my life review..


I did a presentation today and i realized that many people have said that i am someone who can come up with theories.. as in, to be able to snook myself out of situations? I think i am more of a presentation person, more extroverted, and with more preparation and effort, i think i am more of a presentation person?


We are to cultivate our gifts and abilities, keep our heart aflame, broaden our experiences, grow our character and personality...


Oh today someone commented that i am very organized??? Hmm.. something i never thought of
of myself??


Study feedback and practice..


What can i do to give God the best?


I really am quite lost on this topic... God tell me, and give me the confidence in the talents that you give me...


OH! wrote a song ... finally a Christian one... will complete it and write it here... or maybe add the song here...


Amen....

Day 31: Understanding your shape

Applying ur abilties, in the list was composing songs, teaching music.. i have always doubted if i really can write songs, if it is really a talent.. maybe its jus something in me.. I dunno if i really can sing or i jus like singing..

What ever you are good at, you should be doing it for the church..

This sentence made me realize tt yah.. maybe i do have a talent in singing.. but yet still unsure.. i dunno why i am unsure of myself..

Determining my shape:

Family experience - What did i learn growing up in my family? I learnt business dealings? Learnt that when there is always success, there is always failures. That we should be careful of pitfalls. I learnt not to take for granted.. my life.. has been good.. parents love me.. take care of me.. and i learnt that family is the one that will stand by you.. when troubles come..

Educational Experience - My fav subjects... i did well in maths i liked it.. so it was my fav.. i loved literature.. i like studying marketing, realising how the world works..

Vocational Experience - Jobs... i have been effective in telemarketing.. but i didnt really enjoy it... have been effective in sales.. but i didnt really enjoy it.. been effective in leadership .. public speaking?

Spiritual experience - Meaningful times with God, when i am in MM, singing to him, and worshipping him...

Ministry experience - served God in worship.. lead in worship when in GB, led in worship in mission trip to the children, led in worship in SHPS.. write muscial script.. think a little drama..,

Painful experience - Problems... Financial? Self esteem? Hurt... My love life.. thats a great hurt.. thorns ... my studies... my trials.. picking myself up from where i fell...

My faults - Stubborn, lazy, prideful
My failures - Weight control, finances control
My fears - Life.... death.....

My GOd given ability.... Singing??? Personality????

.........

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

The trials of life

Felt a sense of heartache jus now, God seems to be making me go thr a lesson that i guess i haven learnt yet... Making me go thr it again.. i have a feeling my health is deteroitating..

So i must make up for it by exercising.. so tired.. jus came back from a 20mins cycle.. Life is critical? Maybe i never knew tt.. i always had someone helping me..

its time i made life critical.

Amen

Day 30: Shaped for Serving God

In what way can i see myself serving others passionately??

What do i love to do.. God... He is amazing, I was feeling guilty that day at MM.. I was totally enjoying myself and really loved singing but i felt bad about it.. i was thinking to myself, that i should constantly tell myself that it is to be focused on God..

Reading this chapter: SHAPE made me understand that God gave me that interest.. He placed that in my heart to make me feel passionate about the whole event.. Uncle Mic told me to lead in the breathing exercise, i realised that i was excited about it.. I really wanted to learn more things to improve on the choir..

The first tell tale sign is enthusiasm.. and i am enthusiastic.. but other than that what other spiritual gifts? i cant see it myself.. i wan to pray to ask God to let me discover what it is..

I wrote a song today while i was in school.. amazed by how my inspiration came... the next time i write a song, i want to write it for Jesus..

I shall do that!

Amen!

Day 29: Accepting the assignment

The assignment is to serve GOd and to not be selfish. It is difficult not to be selfish as it seems innate that one would think of themselves first. However, it is something that we must do, but yet there must be a balancing point as in the past i did think of many things.. sometimes, its difficult to try to please everybody, i want to do my best to please God.

To serve is very difficult, sometimes, it takes certain sacrifices, and i guess my obstacle is myself... to be able to serve whole heartedly is still a distance away.. i really must put in more effort.

Jewel

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Day 28:It takes time

God takes time,

In His time, In HIs time, He makes all things beautiful, In HIs time....
Lord, Please show me everyday as you're teaching me your way,
And to do jus what you say in His time..

Today is Sunday, and APostle taught us on the 7 things that we must do so that Prosperity will come and an angel will come our way.. And one of the steps was that little by little God will increase.. And today while reading Purpose Driven Life, it was mentioned that GOd will change us little by little..

Little by little we're taking ground, every step a powerful weapon, strongholds come tumbling down and down and down and down..

Amazing how GOd works.. its when He has such a plan that i do not worry where life takes me, I will jus follow in HIs walk.. and walk His way..

I need to be more patient in my belief and passion for Jesus.. i need that and want that.. today my prayer was for me to really worship..

"I'll bring you more than a song, for song in itself, is not what u have required."

I do not want to just sing because i sing... i want to sing and the feeling and passion of GOd flows through..

Today apostle told us, ACTS 27... and they came to a place.... and He said, "Jewel read me that place..." "FAIR HAVENS"... what an appropraite timing of God.. He comes at the right time, to jolt me out of my thoughts, to remind me that He DOES have a plan for me, and for me to not worry so much, for HE knows my difficulties.. so amazed... I was jus worrying about tithing..

I'm so amazed.... and i give you praise, that you would save us at such a cost...
I'm so amazed.... and i give you praise...

Lord, teach me to lean on you... for you are all i need...

Amen

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Day 27: Defeating Tempation

God is faithful, Today i was at music class.. and i thank God for his presence was with him.. I still remember that prayer my coach prayed.. "And Lord may your presence be here with us today.." and i Amened to that.. The goosebumps that came over me was so strong that i knew.. God was with us in that room.. Listening to us sing that song.. Till now when i am typing it, i can feel that strength and conviction He left in me today..

"Take me pass the outer courts...
Into the Holy Place..
Pass the Brazen Alter
Lord, I want to see your face...

Pass me by the crowds of people,
Where priests sing their praises

I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
And I''ve only found one place..

Take me in TO the Holy of Holies
Take me in by the Blood of the Lamb
Take me into the Holy oh Holies,
Take the coal, cleanse my lips..
Here I am..."

Beautiful experience with this song, sung this song many times before.. but yet for the first time today, i imagined myself, travelling through the tabernacle.. and wanting to meet God..

Went into the car and immediately Jerome said, "For God is faithful and he will keep the tempation from becoming too strong that you cant stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you the way out so that u will not give in to it"

I corinthians 10:13

Haha i got a shock.. today's chapter was try memorizing a verse a week.. and this is our first verse that we are memorizing together.. this week.. Veron is in malaysia, must tell her when she comes back.... and we shall have scriptures as our bullets...

4 ways of defeating temptation:

1) Refocus your attention elsewhere
2) Share with a Godly friend
3) Realize your vulnerability
4) Resist the Devil

To wear the helmet of salvation and the sword of the word...

Amen

day 26: transformed by temptation

Feeling a tired today.. But today's lesson is very apt. to know the workings of tempation..

Realised that i jus gave in to the temptation of anger earlier on, well S.A. Tan really knows what i am weak at.. hmm.. now i know how he prepares temptation, its something tt is inside of us.. then he will put thoughts in my mind..

I want to pay attention to when and to what i will tempted by.. this way i will be sure to avoid it...

I do not wan to worry about my exams and projects, for i want to learn real peace... to experience real peace amidst of chaos and confusion..

Stress should not anything anymore...

Amen

Friday, April 01, 2005

Day 25: transformed by trouble

Wah a timing of God.. He is truly the one who knows us the best.. Was jus feeling troubled about the car.. and my studies.. So much to do and its seems like there is so little time.. And then the words.. Transformed by trouble, immediately i told JErome, this is the chapter that God wants to tell you..

" It is the fire of suffering that brings forth the gold of godliness."

Life is a series of problems. And the analogy touched me, that we are like jewels, unpolished gems that God wants to uncover. The gem inside us is undiscovered and we need time and patience to be build up.. We need the adversity hammer and chiesel to make us shine and be a Jewel to everyone..

Refiners Fire.. My hearts One desire.. Is to be Holy, Set apart for you Lord..
I choose to be Holy, set apart for you my master, Ready to do your will..

This song seems to appropriate now, Purify my heart, Let me be as Gold, and precious silver. Purify my heart, Let me as Gold, Pure Gold..

What problem in life... My finance i guess.. it has made me grow so much... money to me never seemed like much problem.. after experiencing the difficulties of life, i understood the importance of every little cent..

God will be there with me through all my problems..

Amen

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Day 24: Transformed by truth

What has God said in his word than i must start to do, but i haven done yet?

God said for us to be humble and not bad tempered. To think for others more than think about ourselves. I think these are the few actions that i want to take towards following what the Bible says. I have not read through the bible at all yet and not even studied much into it. I want to start doing that as well.

Realised that because i cannot really quote scriptures and cannot really explain certain things that i feel from God to others.Then how do i spread the gospel like that?

I was amazed by the four authorities that we usually go by:

Culture (everyone is doing it)
Reason (It seems logical)
Tradtion (We have always been doing it)
Emotions (It just felt right)

But i have one question that i think i should ask Pastor sally... how to follow bible standards? how do we look for answers and instructions in the BIble???

I must receive it, read it, research it, remember and reflect on it!

I never really asked much questions: I think its time i asked, and God can then let me grow faster...

Amen

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Day 23: How to Grow

I must want to grow, decide to grow, make an effort to grow, and persist in growing...

To become more Christlike, i guess i jus made one mistake.. Hmm... okie will take note..

Today's chapter mentioned, if we change our attitude and mindset, we will be able to change our habits.. sounds super familiar.. Hahah use to think like that..

To develop new habits: Hmmm.. yah recently working hard in my school projects.. so far this 2 semesters are my best semesters! To God be the Glory..

To stop thinking immature thoughts, which is to stop thinking about myself, to start thinking for others.. dropping the I me, and My....

Its not easy not to be self centered, but Jewel will do her best...

Amen

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Sun setting... so beautiful Posted by Hello
Happening Ladies!!! Posted by Hello
Jerome and Jewel at Sentosa on Sunday! Posted by Hello

Day 22: Created to become like Christ

Its not what we do that is important, its what we are that is important.

The Beatitudes:

Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Matthew 5:1-12

Fruits of the Spirit:

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

Galatians 5:22-23

The Chapter on Love:

"Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails."

1 Corinthians Chp 13

Peter's characteristic of effective and productive life:

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness knowledge; and to knowledge, self control; and to self control, perserverance; and to perserverance, godliness: and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:5-8


All these shall be what i aspiire to be...
AMEN

Monday, March 28, 2005

No mood

I have no mood to read at all today, why is life so difficult

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Day 20: Restoring Broken Relationship

I guess this broken relationship chapter is talking about Christians? But i too have some non Christian friends whom i need to restore friendship as well.. Hmm..

Resolving a conflict is never easy.. it takes a lot of humility.. and to be able to face up to that person is the hardest.. I realised one thing today though.. it takes jus our effort to bring people to God.. Mercy has been trying to get madelene and dede they all to come to church but she is one person trying her best to do that, while we have not helped her at all... now we asked them together.. and they are coming tomolo... God is wonderful.. He put that image in me, when i was touched by His power.. He made me ignite that fire to spread the gospel for His sake...

And i shall do that... to let people know what He has done in my life and what He can do in their lives..

Amen

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Day 19: Cultivating Community

Had such an experience today, was able to feel God's presence on me, could not stop crying, it was as if in my body or spirit i felt a revelation come over me, An urgency for people to come to know Christ.. I was thinking how would it have been if dede came along as well... I should have tried harder... i know i would be able to... Felt lead to msg mad and mel and eileen as well.. i feel that as their friend.. i should put in my utmost effort.. I remember myself asking Jesus, Lord all i want now, is for jewel's parents to be saved... all jewel wants is to humble herself at ur feet.. to serve you..

cultivating community need times, an investment of a lot of time, Jewel had a sudden urge to invest her time into getting eagle two back for Christ.. To let his glory reign in her life... Apostle prayed for forgiveness in our spirirt.. and the thought that came into Jewel's mind was yes Lord, there are still bitterness in her..

Jewel was praying hard that in her life, she will be able to pray to cultivate the community with humility, bonesty, courtesy, confidentiality and frequency. she should be honest with her feelings...

Friday, March 25, 2005

Day 18: Experiencing life together

A little confused by today's chapter, got the gist of it but i guess need to read it once more.. I understand that being in church, having a small group like cell group will be good. To build the relative bond of the people around us.. I realized one thind, that its always better to share with our church, the hurts that we are going through.. The fact that God has made it such that we are able to fellowship on a deeper levele with each other.. SOmetimes, i like to keep certain facts to myself, because it seems to me that, its better not to let others know.

Our chinese upbringing has probably lead me to keep hurts and feelings more to myself. To have heart to heart talks with our church members. Hmm.. had a talk today with aunty Gwen.. she always makes me see things in a different light.. I guess, we can slowly open up..

Had my first tuition class today, hahaha so stressful, must read up more! Heard from Jerome about prayer meeting today, very happy for him... Its like now he has a more deeper relationship with God.. even before he went, he was already excited.. such a different him.. God changes lives..

God has shown us how merciful He has been on our lives.. No matter what kind of problems lies ahead. HE will carry us through...

"There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it,
There is no mountain too tall, he cannot move it,"

Cant remember the lyrics to the song.. a beautiful one..

"If he carried the weight of the world upin his shoulders,
I know my sister that he will carry you,
If he carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders,
I know my brother that he will carry you..."

"He said come unto me, all who are weary"

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Day 17: A place to belong

Today its about fellowshipping with people or rather God's people. I want to be able to be committed in the church. To give some time that i have to the Lord. And i pray that i will not take music ministry for granted.. I realise now that to be committed to a CHurch is what God wants us to do. Encourage one another..

And there is no such thing as a perfect church.... very tired today, but very blessed today, God kept me save from harm again today.. Tomorrow will be a great day! Jerome said to me today, that he was feeling very happy, cos he feels that he does not have to worry much, he has a feeling that someone is taking care of things for him.. God is.. God is great... But i must continue to grow in faith with the Lord, I'm praying.. for Him to strengthen me as i continue this difficult journey down the road to graduation... can feel the tension already.. may God release that tension in me..

Amen

Day 16: WHAT MATTERS MOST

Had a great day today, and to me, reading this chapter ends this day beautifully...

"What Matters Most..." To God? We were talking to Apostle today about Heehaw and its all about love.. and God so graciously planned today.... Of all days today to talk about love.. relationships..

"No matter what i say, what i believe, and what i do, I'm bankrupt without love."
1 Corinthians 13:3b (Msg)

Beautifully said.. we should value our relationships more.. My parents, my friends, my siblings, Jerome, my sisters and brothers in Christ..

Today I finally saw how God works and finally understood why things happen, and that things do happen for a reason... I have been feeling vexed and confused lately about the happenings and direction of Heehaw.. and God showed me why he had not open up doors for us.. I am glad he brought us to see what He had planned for us.. God, is so wonderful in His plans.. that i could not stop thinking or talking about it... To God be the Glory... And Fairhavens Romance was born...

And thanks to Veron who mentioned the covering of the Church... We are now guided by the right counsel.. Thank you Lord for being gracious to us.. gracious enough to still guide us..

I never saw Love this way before as the Chapter describes it.. I always felt guilty if i spent too much time with my family, friends and Jerome.. In the past during AM, i remember that spending time with them means that next time we will not be able to provide a better future.. Time has to be spent carving out a career for oneself, at the expense of not seeing my parents and my siblings much..

I remember that my sister grew up so fast without me really witnessing me much of the change.. I was too busy at that time, too busy to be there for her and to listen to her.. Too busy for my mummy.. Left her alone most of the time, and took her for granted... All with the thought that sacrificing time now, would equal a better future..

But apparently it did not, now i understand the biblical way.. understand the importance the time and relationships. I want to use my time more wisely now..

"Busyness is a great enemy of relationships" True enough we become preoccupied with making a living, doing our work, paying bills and accomplishing goals, i believe God does not want us to be lazy but he also wants us to be balanced, i think i should let dede read this.. to let her understand... that Work is not everything.

True.... wat an observation: When ppl are on their death beds, wat di they wan to see the most? Books? Accomplishments? money? Its people... They want their love ones to be around... Thus love is so important...

Yesterday, we drove past a car, the car had a flat tyre and it was a lady trying to change the tyre... We wanted to stop to help, but at that split second, i looked at the time and realised that if we stopped i would be late for my Music class, as i wanted to rush to Sim lim first... And we made a wrong turn and we didnt stop to help... We felt bad... but in my mind was that i know i did not have the time to help.. But reading this, i am wrong.. And may God forgive me.. Busyness is something that we all have an excuse about... And i really understand now, what this chapter is trying to put across...

I want to make full use of my time here on earth, to love and spend more time with the people around me, i never know when they will not be around anymore.. Even that thought scares me, i want them to be in Heaven with me.. Will pray them into the Kingdom Lord, and share with them how He touched my heart..

Amen...

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Day 15: A Part of God's Family

What can i do for the other believers, to treat them like my own family?

I am trying to think, there are times, when i buy food for my mummy, sis and bro... my dad as well... I care for their well being, i want to make sure that i can provide the best that i can for them.. In that sense, i will really want to make sure that i will be able to be sincere towards other believers.. I will start from my family in MM... to try my best to treat them as my sisters and brothers, to love and care for them..

Mercy is at my place today, she is listening to some Jason Upton's music... Worship song.. Lovely... God is with us... May He take away all the circumstances tt are before us... and lead us into His presence...

Being a part of God's family is when i can partake a share of his treasures... His mercy, patience.. wisdom.. knowledge.. Priceless gifts.. I remember it was once said...

"Its not the brilliant methods that makes a Business prosper... Its the character and depth of the one who was behind it.. It was the one behind the plans that drew the crowds... "

Thus Lord, i long to be the one who chases after you, i know that i can never be perfect, but among my imperfection, i hope to seek a little piece of your perfect love..

Suddenly a thought dawned on me.. I have been cautious in my relationship.. thinking that maybe if i took a step wrong, God will halt it.. But i realise that it might not be that i Love the most.. it might be something more dear to me.. God might be dealing with me, my emotions, my character and pride is most important to me.. Am i willing to give up my Isaac for Him...

My Isaac... I think its myself... to not think of myself... but to think of HIm...

Amen....

Monday, March 21, 2005

Day 14: When God seems distant

Ever felt that before, a period of barren promises and faith... I guess i failed that test, i remember that i was not even sure if there was a God.. But now, i would say that although, the first time i said the sinner's prayer is 12 years ago, i feel like i was just a new born christian... finally jus born again and now starting to know God for who HE is..

But yah.. the first time i prayed to Him, there was no response, i could not receive it and was unable to feel him in my life... Now i am beginning to feel him, and i guess like what today's chapter wrote about, He is reassuring me now, and i must be prepared to once again in future to take up that challenge, if God seems distant...

Today in the book, it states, Christ died on the cross for me, and he really suffered for us... Suddenly it jus came to me, today as we were worshipping the Lord, i remembered something, i Remembered the sacrifice that Jesus made, saw that image in Passion of Christ.. that hurt in his eyes, and pain written all over... And in accordance, the book mentioned about the cross as well... Maybe, God is reminding me that yes he is here.. in my life.. and He will guide me through, jus as Apostle taught us that prayer...

"This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it... Lord, save us O Lord, send NOW, your prosperity.."

That this is the day i believe that God will understand and hear what my prayers are....

My prayer today, tonight... will be that dede has a peaceful heart, and wake up tomolo knowing what to do... for the Lord is always with her... and most of all.. for the Lord to touch her...

Amen...

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Day 13: Worship that pleases God

Going to do a presentation next Saturday, was praying for God to give me a song, and in today's chapter, the last paragraph wrote:

"I'll bring you more than a song,
because the song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within
than the way things appear.
You're looking into my heart."

"I'm coming back to the Heart of worship, And its all about you..
Its all about you Jesus.."

Worship takes effort and energy, today this chapter made me understand one thing, its not us that should be the focus, not because we like the song that we sing the song, but to sincerely mean it... Sometimes, i will sing the worship song because i like that song... But now i know, i want to sincerely mean it from the bottom of my heart..

Today a song that touched my heart was:

"Exalted, Adore you..."

It literally made me stand in awe of him.. amazed by his power and grace... It really led me to worship.. But i really want to be like what the book mentioned today, to really get rid of all self centredness.. and concentrate on worshipping..

I shall be lead to understand the true heart of worship..

Day 12: Fellowship with Veron

Veron, if you are readin this, i do not understand the pork issue, so maybe if you have an understanding regarding it maybe you can share with me? good pt there... 2hrs and 40 mins of our daily time.. haha.. monthly??? kidding!

Night!

Day 12: Developing Friendship with God

Had house church today and felt very perturbed about some things in life.. It was as if, there was a heavy burden in me. Uncle mic refered us to Exodus chp 3, Moses was tending the flocks, and he asked us do we know what Moses was in the past 40 years of his life? I answered, a Prince. A prince humbling himself to tend the flocks, it was something remarkable..

He asked us then, do u remember a point in time, whereby you were up there in status quo and after being a Christian you were brought down? I recall when I was working in AM, i held that postion, fought hard for it, and was earning my own money, managing a group of people, earning the respect of others as well.. But God brought me down to a stage whereby i had to humble myself, to learn the tough ways of live, i understand now that I forgot about him during those times, and he wanted me to understand the complexity of life. But i did not share this, there was no oppo for me to share with the house church members.

In my opinion, God meant it to be that way, for uncle mic asked to share if we had any recent 'supernatural' encounter with God! And i realized that i do have! The angel that God sent down to help us during our time of trouble.. Mr Lawrence, the tow truck guy.. I had a new understanding today that God really amazes me about:

"Do not look back into the past, for it has passed.. but look unto the future, for you can be sure that I am always around, waiting for you to cry out to me for help, and I will be there.."

So today's message in Purpose Driven life, made me understood one thing, God did not expect us to be perfect.. and Jerome mentioned one sentence that hit me real hard....

"God did not expect us to be perfect... Man does.."

People around us and even ourselves, condemn mistakes and seek for perfection, we are not satisfied with our lives, our looks, our history... People seek to find the perfect one in love too.. but there is no such thing.. God expects us to be honest, and i want to honest with Jesus, and not give him that cliche holiness.. that everyone expects...

I want to be honest with God that i am afraid of drawing close to him, in case He wants me to do something i do not want.. Like in the case of Matt and all.. Its like i am afraid of that kind of consecration of extremity.. But i guess i have to be honest with him and tell him that i do have things that i am holding back from..

A side topic: My mum cooked a whole pot of chicken soup.. But we were afraid that it will spoil soon if we leave it for too many days... Jerome suggested that we finish it by tonight... But he said... either the food gets wasted or we gain a little bit more weight.. Dilemma said he... hahahah well... in life i guess, there are many choices like that we have to make, both the options seems reasonable.. However, we have to know our objectives in life, and not change ourselves to meet the environment changes.. Likewise, I know that i have to do what is right in God's eyes..

I pray that God will give me the strength to change certain things and the wisdom to know the difference between the things i can change and the things i cannot change...

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Day 11: Becoming Best Friends with God

Never thought of God as my best friend, its easier to associate him as my Father, Creator.. There are certain things that I will never share with my parents, but lots of things i will share with my best friend, i guess thats the difference that God wants me to take. To treat him like how i treat ah bee, ah thia and dede they all.. They have known me for 10 odd years, but God knows me for centuries ago.. Before i was even born..

Never tried treating God as a friend, joking and sharing everything together.. Recently, me dede and veron had a long gals chat! haha sharing all our stories and what not.. Made me understand now, what this chapter is all about, we can have slumber parties with all our gal friends and chat till till the sun rises again, but why cant we do that with God.. I think he will be more than happy to hear us chatter non stop.. happy to take our sorrows and burdens, I guess to do this requires lots of meditation, becos we r talking to an invisible and Almighty God..

Haha i intend to stick my post its notes everywhere to remind me to have constant conversation with God! Come to think of it i think veron, Jerome and me will be more constantly reminded! Hey we should be each other's constant reminders! Okie Veron, if you are reading this! Lets put it into action!

Hahah! To be friends with God is my challenge.. So may God help me..

Jewel

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Day 10: The Heart of worship

I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and its all about you, its all about you Jesus...

This song immediately comes to my mind during the course of this chapter.. It never occured to me that its actually not good that the world is all about succeeding and not giving up.. Today's chapter talked about surrendering my all.. I realised that i am afraid of surrendering all, surrendering all would mean putting down my will and my choices in life to trust the plans that God has for us..

"love casts out all fear" ... true.. when u know that there is love, fear seems to creep away.. i remember when i was younger, i use to have this sudden pangs of fear coming over me, fearing a lot of things about life. However, when Jerome came into my life, fear seems far away, perhaps that security and that trust brings about that losing of fear.. And God can guide me, and take away my fear much more...

It dawned on me now, why we react emotionally to circumstances.. We express our insecurity and our limitations through the releasing of emotions, resentment, irritation and all.. Hmm.. this makes me want to slowly get to the stage whereby i want not to be emotionally burdened by limitations, and to allow myself to be free. to understand that we should rely on God as HE is our dependence..

It sparks in me, again, why God chose this day to reveal this revelation on me.. My past was catching up with me, a lot of my past hurts and scars were surfacing, God seems to want me to know that while we surrender all, he will do his 'deepest work within us'.. I shall give it all to Jesus.. 'past regrets, my present problems, my future ambitions, my fears, my dreams, weaknesses, habits, hurts and hang ups..'

reminded of a song:

"Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?
Are you tired of spinning round and round?
Wrap up all the shattered dreams of your life
And at the feet of Jesus lay them down.

Give them all, Give them all, Give them all to Jesus
Shattered Dreams, Wounded Hearts and Broken Toys

Give them all, Give them all, Give them all to Jesus,
And He will turn your sorrows into Joy.."

Beautiful words, i realised.. I have been singing it for so long, yet only today did it dawn on me.. the great meaning behind those words.. I have been holding back lots of confusion from God, its time should give them all..

Facing circumstances shall not stumble me, my God is a great God and He will guide me through...

Day 9: What makes God smile?

In a haste to finish reading today, tomorrow is a long day for me, and i'm feeling tired. Today the car broke down, tyre went flat.. Well.. i thought what luck for the tyre to be flat... In my mind, i was thinking to myself, maybe God planned for this, so that i might reach home at a certain time or something.. However, an angel came to our rescue! A stranger stopped by to help us.. nice man.. really was impressed.. That there are nice ppl around..

Day 9 touched my heart, what makes God smile.. reading this makes me understand God better.. i use to think that God is unhappy whenever i am not spiritually "there" yet.. and that he loves those who are chasing after him desperately only.. But it wamed my heart when i read that He loves to watch our spiritual development. He does not seek the perfect us, but the us that seeks to love him wholeheartedly..

God smiles when we trust him totally.. well i think tt is the hardest part to do... To trust completely.. when times are good, its easy to trust.. when times seem hard and the impossible sets in, then we question the will of God.. I was amazed with Noah... to spend 120 years building the ark must not have been an easy feat.. however, he did it, and he trusted God completely, without any complaints..

For me, i think the most important part of my life that i feel i should let go to trust God completely would be my career path... for me to trust him completely that he will bring me to where he wants me to go... Thy will be done...

Jewel
A long night... seems a short slumber to the tired mind...

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Bugis Picture Taking Posted by Hello
Family but Daddy in Malaysia Posted by Hello
Nice Jewelllery hee Posted by Hello
Bugis the Neoprint machine Posted by Hello

Monday, March 14, 2005

Planned for God's Pleasure

14th March 2005 Monday in NUS Forum, i had my singing classes today, and i chose the song 'Power of your love', Was rather nervous about it all, but i prayed and lifted the song up to Jesus, as my personal prayer. God is really a God that creates wonders, he chose the timing so perfectly that day 8 will land on my presentation date. Hee and thank God, he brought me through the presentation well... At least no major hiccups or pitching problem! Worshipping him with all that i am, and using our daily routinal tasks, we can transform it into something that is worth praising God for.

Everything can be used to worship... And it included being still... I wanted to use a common task and lift it unto Jesus, which is my studies, and heehaw. I realised that Jesus made a great sacrifice for love, he showed us what was Love all about. The last phrase in today's lesson was 'falling in love with Jesus.', to see where HE came from, he loved to the greatest extent, and this should be how he wants love to be. In corinthians, where Love is patient, love is kind, it is the ideal of love.

Purpose Driven Life

Started on a 40 day quiet time with Veronica and Jerome! This is our 8th day.. Felt a lot about the things that i have been reading.. Especially when i attended the Benny Hinn's Crusade last Saturday!

I remember that I was once speaking to an elderly man, he was sharing with me how and why he believed that there is a God, and how he came to know about Jesus. He said, have i ever noticed that if we use a microscope to look into an ant. We would be amazed by the ant's complexity of body parts, that within such a tiny insect lies such profound creation, and entanglement of nerves and what there was to be... And he asked me, look up into the skies and marvel at the extent of the skie, the beauty of the sun, the moon, the stars, the clouds... SUch beauty and depth could only have been a creation of someone far more beautiful and wonderful than these..

What he told me, stayed in my heart till now... And still i am so amazed how God knows when i am fallible, when i am uncertain... And i am amazed by how he uses someone else to come into my life, a stranger over the phone to share with me.. Why God exists. And true.. Love is also such a beautiful intangible feeling that no one in this world can explain and decipher but yet, God could create such an emotion. If the people on earth are capable of such great love and sacrifices for love, then God is even more than that.. He is even greater at loving...

Love brings us to another platform, where self seems secondary and the love placed high above all..

Love,
Jewel

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Heehaw's New Webby

Very excited today! Our facelift for the webby is out! and have received many compliments about it! My Wish for HEEHAW is to grow under the wings of love and one day be able to bring Love to people all around! So busy with so many tests that i have no time to do many things!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Jerome with 2 of our angels on Valentine! Posted by Hello
Woken up from my deep slumber by winged blood suckers... Along with my little sis.. And from then our eyes have been kept open.. And now i am updating my blog, its been a long long time.. Itching all over because of the mosquitoes~ ! :( Help... Must remember to buy mosquito coil tomorrow! Still got loads of projects to do!!!! Oh well... at least i manage to do something! Time to slepp now despite all the itch... Nighty!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005


Water Paradise! Posted by Hello

At tioman beach resort!!!! Posted by Hello

Sunday, January 02, 2005

The New Year 2005

Its a brand new year! 2005.. A whole new exciting world of events are waiting for me as i speak.. I remember last year seemed to pass by so quickly, and 365 days just flew past me just like that.. Seems amazing, how time flies and we can never get it to return.

My new year resolution is to treasure all the time that i have, and to fully make use of it. Time is so precious, i was 22 last year but this year i am going to be 23! Wow.. i seemed to have only just celebrated my 21st birthday and now i am 23.. Hmm.. Time is really a speedy train.. Every single day, anything can happen.. So i must learn not to regret the things that i have done. I want to be able to make sure that every little thing i do, it is worth the while...

Yeah 2005 will be a great year!

Je t'iame