Day 12: Developing Friendship with God

Had house church today and felt very perturbed about some things in life.. It was as if, there was a heavy burden in me. Uncle mic refered us to Exodus chp 3, Moses was tending the flocks, and he asked us do we know what Moses was in the past 40 years of his life? I answered, a Prince. A prince humbling himself to tend the flocks, it was something remarkable..

He asked us then, do u remember a point in time, whereby you were up there in status quo and after being a Christian you were brought down? I recall when I was working in AM, i held that postion, fought hard for it, and was earning my own money, managing a group of people, earning the respect of others as well.. But God brought me down to a stage whereby i had to humble myself, to learn the tough ways of live, i understand now that I forgot about him during those times, and he wanted me to understand the complexity of life. But i did not share this, there was no oppo for me to share with the house church members.

In my opinion, God meant it to be that way, for uncle mic asked to share if we had any recent 'supernatural' encounter with God! And i realized that i do have! The angel that God sent down to help us during our time of trouble.. Mr Lawrence, the tow truck guy.. I had a new understanding today that God really amazes me about:

"Do not look back into the past, for it has passed.. but look unto the future, for you can be sure that I am always around, waiting for you to cry out to me for help, and I will be there.."

So today's message in Purpose Driven life, made me understood one thing, God did not expect us to be perfect.. and Jerome mentioned one sentence that hit me real hard....

"God did not expect us to be perfect... Man does.."

People around us and even ourselves, condemn mistakes and seek for perfection, we are not satisfied with our lives, our looks, our history... People seek to find the perfect one in love too.. but there is no such thing.. God expects us to be honest, and i want to honest with Jesus, and not give him that cliche holiness.. that everyone expects...

I want to be honest with God that i am afraid of drawing close to him, in case He wants me to do something i do not want.. Like in the case of Matt and all.. Its like i am afraid of that kind of consecration of extremity.. But i guess i have to be honest with him and tell him that i do have things that i am holding back from..

A side topic: My mum cooked a whole pot of chicken soup.. But we were afraid that it will spoil soon if we leave it for too many days... Jerome suggested that we finish it by tonight... But he said... either the food gets wasted or we gain a little bit more weight.. Dilemma said he... hahahah well... in life i guess, there are many choices like that we have to make, both the options seems reasonable.. However, we have to know our objectives in life, and not change ourselves to meet the environment changes.. Likewise, I know that i have to do what is right in God's eyes..

I pray that God will give me the strength to change certain things and the wisdom to know the difference between the things i can change and the things i cannot change...